For all of those who have questions with health care, childcare, or anything else military or even non miltitary related!
Sara Knight
in Military and Military Spouses
updated over 2 years ago
We got the news Friday that my fiance is being deployed to Afganistan. He will be leaving about a month for Kansas and then be shipping overseas mid Feburary. We had had a small traditional wedding planned for October 2010 but have since decided to elope seeing as it will give us better pay. We do have an 18 month old daughter. I just don't exactly where to start. Where do I get the information I need for housing and insurance? What information does the millitary need for documentation of our marriage and where do I send it? Is there any sort of additional support for my daughter? I already have to move becuase I cannot afford to live in our current house and it is very far away from my family. This is my fiances second deployment but first one since we have been together. I met him soon after he returned from his first deployment. I'm just so lost and confused. Is there anyone who can help me?
Melissa, over 2 years ago
Hi Sara. Wow, I feel for you! Our family hasn't had to endure a deployment yet, but I know it can be touch, especially when you have a little one!
The following information is based on my Air Force experience. I don't know much about the other branches, but I'm sure it's very similar (but they probably have different acronyms/terms for places.)
Once you two are married, your husband will have you entered into DEERS ("the system"; through the MPF - Military Personnel Flight. Your hubby should know where to go) so that you are now counted as a military family member and will get an ID. Your daughter will also be entered in as a dependent. You will need your marriage documentation brought in, in-person to the MPF. I'm also pretty sure you will need birth certificates/SS cards for your daughter and probably you.
Every base I've been to has a Family Support Center for dependents. That would be my first stop after the MPF! There is often tons of information and assistance that bases offer families.
As for housing, the base/post housing office has information on on-base houses as well as properties off-base. You can either receive housing through the base or can be given a housing allowance to pay rent off-base (though some bases have restrictions on living off-base.)
I'd be glad to talk with you about any other questions you have, but I'm sure you will get most of them answered through the MPF & Family Support Center. From what I've seen (7 years in now) the military has been awesome at providing help and taking care of you. As soon as you are married, you will have access to tons of resources through the base/post.
My husband and I were married in a similar way. He didn't go through a deployment, but I had decided to leave the military and marry him, but we weren't planning on having our wedding for about 6 more months. In the meantime, I would have no where to live easily. So we had a quick courthouse marriage and then later had our wedding. Many doors are open if you are a spouse and the military also offers LOTS of support to spouses of deployed members. I think it will definitely be beneficial for you to be a spouse while he's away rather than a fiancee. Good luck, congratulations, and let the group know if you have any more questions!!
-Melissa